When I first stared going to gay bars, I felt invisible to most of the men there, unless they had some weird Asian fetish. Multiple surveys have shown that Black and Asian men are typically the least desired groups in the gay community - as an Asian person, I can attest to this. This wouldn’t be quite so tragic if not for the fact that there are currently only 15 or so lesbian bars in the entire United States.Įven though I’m a gay man, I can relate to Guraya’s feelings on some levels. Unless she goes to a bar that’s specifically for lesbians or queer women, Guraya says she can never assume that women at gay bars are actually gay. It’s happened to some of my lesbian friends as well they walk up to another woman at a gay bar, only to find out said woman is just there with their gay male friend or a group of fellow straight women. Guaraya says the rejection she experiences in gay bars is multi-faceted: As a queer woman, she feels like the only women who are welcomed in those spaces are, ironically, straight. “Every time I am at a gay bar I’m shoved into or bumped literally like I’m invisible, and it’s hard to not feel like I’m invisible because don’t want to fuck me.” The problem isn’t that gay bars have changed post-pandemic it’s that they’ve stayed exactly the same.
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“The first time I went to a gay bar (in D.C.), I was called ‘Fish’ in line and my crotch was grabbed later that night,” Lisa Guraya, a 25-year-old account supervisor, tells me. In fact, it’s a huge plot point in the recently-released Fire Island movie. But you wouldn’t have an inkling about any of it within most gay bars, where the main concern among patrons seems to be who looks fuckable enough to take home.ĭon’t just take it from me: Many queer people know that if you’re not a specific “type” of attractive (cis, male, and white), you’re basically irrelevant or disrespected the second you enter a gay bar. LGBTQ+ rights are under attack, Black trans and nonbinary people are being murdered at unprecedented rates, and white supremacists are storming drag queen story hours. The problem isn’t that gay bars have changed post-pandemic it’s that they’ve stayed exactly the same - even though the world, or at least our collective conscience, has finally changed.
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In fact, just last week at a bar in Brooklyn, a gay white man made a bottom joke and pushed a cue stick against my butt cheek. The same, tired scene plays out pretty much every time I cross the threshold: Shirtless men with abs look me up and down, there are seldom any queer or trans women present, and people of color are often belittled. But in the year since I’ve personally added gay bars back into my social repertoire, something about them has felt lukewarm. Two years later, some of the bars and clubs I loved did indeed close, while many others miraculously survived. The future looked grim back then, and the general consensus was that COVID would probably spell the end of many already-struggling gay bars. When using a search engine such as Google, Bing or Yahoo check the safe search settings where you can exclude adult content sites from your search results Īsk your internet service provider if they offer additional filters īe responsible, know what your children are doing online.In the summer of 2020, I donated money to keep some of my favorite queer establishments open. Use family filters of your operating systems and/or browsers Other steps you can take to protect your children are: More information about the RTA Label and compatible services can be found here.
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